What The Fck Happened To Ed!
by Number Eleven is my OC
Summary: Ed has been missing for a month, and when Al finds him he is doing something very un-Ed like... Rated for swearing and paranoia Tell me if I should change the genre.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an idea Shauriene had at school and told me about to get advice. Then she asked me to write it for her. Also, November 1st was her birthday, so wish her a happy birthday!**

**I own nothing you recognize.**

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><p>A month... God dammit, how did Ed manage to go missing for a MONTH!<p>

Everyone's been a wreck, especially Mustang, he's been sleeping less than before.

As for me, I've been searching for him up and down, everywhere I can think to look. But he isn't anywhere.

Winry's been pissed and sad, shifting between crying and raging about his disappearance.

I haven't rested in that time at all, not like I need to.

Walking down a deserted road right next to a forest, something feels wrong. It feels like this place is... I can't describe it.

The forest seems like it wants me to go in, and, for some reason, I obey and walk between the trees. The branches brushing against my chest plate.

I walk deeper into the forest, it gets darker as I walk foreword, until I reach a giant wooden house. The door is firmly closed, even though the house is decaying and the door doesn't really provide that much protection anyway.

I open the door cautiously, afraid of what I might find.

But what I see is so terrifying, I couldn't have possibly been prepared for it.

I see Ed... Ed... and he's kneeling in the middle of the floor...

_DRINKING FUCKING MILK!_

...of his own free will it seems, because the _gallon_ is in his hands and he's putting the thing in his mouth _himself!_

"Brother?" I call to him, but he doesn't answer.

His gallon runs out and he sets the empty bottle aside and reaches for another one, then he assumes the position and continues drinking it like I'm not even here.

"Brother! Why are you drinking milk? You hate milk!" I call again, but he doesn't respond.

He just keeps drinking.

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><p><strong>Shauriene, you had the best idea EVER! Thanks for letting me write it!<strong>

**There will be more guys, I'm just tired and my parents are yelling at me to turn it off... so yeah...**

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

***looks left and right* *waves* Allo. This is Okumura Shauriene. Number Eleven is my OC said I could write the second chapter for this story, so I fully intend to. *grins* I'm glad people find this idea funny. **

**So, without further adieu... whatever that is... Neither of us own Fullmetal Alchemist, and she doesn't own the plot.**

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><p>Alphonse Elric's eye twitched as he looked down at what he could only assume was his brother... but could this actually be Ed? Sure, gold hair and the little antenna sticking up, but his hair was down and his eyes... His eyes looked completely dead, without any shine in them whatsoever. He sighed, before bending down, taking the milk gallon out of his hands, and picking up the Fullmetal Alchemist.<p>

For once, he did something different. He started squirming around, before flipping onto his stomach in his brother's arms, and reaching for the milk that was previously taken from him. Before his older brother could fall out of his arms, he flipped him around again, and walked out the door, planning to get a train back to Central.

Once they were on the train, Ed nearly fell out of the window, still reaching for the cabin that had the milk in it. Al sweatdropped, pulled him back inside, and closed the window to the train.

For the rest of the train ride, Ed's face was plastered against the window, reaching for the milk he was forced to abandon.

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><p>Once they got to Central, Alphonse decided to go visit Roy Mustang. He would be happy to know that the Fullmetal Alchemist was still alive and well... or not so well... Al knocked on the Colonel's door, and his voice was heard from the other side.<p>

"What is it? It better be important!" Al smiled. Won't he be in for a surprise. He called back.

"It's Alphonse, and I found Ed!" In about a second, the door was open with a wide eyed Mustang behind it.

"Where is he?" Al nodded down to Ed, who was still reaching in the direction of the cabin. Roy raised an eyebrow. "What's he reaching for." Ed put his arms down, and looked at Roy with clouded eyes and a small smile on his face. Then, he said the first thing anyone of them had heard from him in a month. His voice had a distant tone to it.

"Colonel Mustang..." Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?" The smile got brighter, but his eyes stayed the same.

"It's great to see you..." Al certainly didn't expect this of him.

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><p><strong>... Cookies to anyone who can guess what happened.<strong>

**So Ed being deliberately OOC for a reason people! Review or both me and Luna will not update this story. WE MEAN IT!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back! (This is Number Eleven is my OC) So... Shauriene wanted to write the last chapter and we will be alternating who gives you updates. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Al's POV<p>

Ed is just sitting in the middle of the floor looking at Mustang.

And he's smiling.

Mustang is just staring at him with a stoic look on his face.

Suddenly, a monkey wrench comes flying through the window, followed by Winry screaming "YOU IDIOT!"

Ed just lifts his hand and catches it. Then throws it back out the window almost effortlessly.

I faintly hear someone falling to the ground a few seconds after he throws it.

"Ummm... What just happened?" I ask. Completely confused by what just happened.

Did Ed just _catch_ one of Winry's wrenches?

Winry comes marching in, stomping her feet with a huge bruise on her forehead.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" She screams, bringing the wrench down on the back of his head melee style.

His eyes go wide and he...

...starts crying...

"Why did you do that?" He cries like a little baby as he says this, then he attaches himself to Mustang's leg.

"She hit me! She hit me!" He is completely ignoring the blood pouring into his golden hair and focussing on Mustang.

Winry is now sitting in the corner crying "anime tears" as some people call them.

I go and join her.

Winry and I are crying in the corner while Mustang is trying to shake Ed off his leg.

Ed just continues crying loudly.

Greed walks in, obviously having heard the noise and wanting to know what it was.

"Whoa, whoa whoa... What the hell is going on?" He asks calmly.

"Oh, hi Greed." Ed stops crying.

"Wait, did he just call me 'Greed' without a reminder? Who is that?" He asks, pointing his finger at Ed's face.

Mustang finally succeeds in shaking Ed off his leg, then he comes over and joins us in the corner.

"We all want something we don't have. And we want the real Ed back." Mustang says sadly.

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Greed yells angrily at Mustang.

"Calm down Greed, yelling doesn't solve anything." Ed says quietly.

"You're one to talk kid. All you ever do is yell." He replies.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh no. What happened?" Greed turns to us with a bored expression on his face.

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><p><strong>Sorry this chapter is kind of dumb and as short as the others.<strong>

**Just in case you didn't realize, this is Greedling, not the original Greed.**

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HOLY SHIT I HAD ONE LONG HIATUS! Guess who's back... back again... Shaurie's back... tell a friend... AND I'M WRITING THE 4TH CHAPTER OF THIS THING! I had to do a lot of thinking for this chapter.**

**So, neither of us own FMA, and I own the plot, the cloaked thing, and the inconspicuous chair in your closet that wasn't there before. Could I have that back actually?**

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><p><strong>This flashback is brought to you by Edward somehow not reacting to being called short.<strong>

One nice day, Edward Elric was in his current room, reading a book. That is, until Winry burst in requesting that they take a walk around. Begrudgingly, Ed put down his book and followed her outside. Winry was enjoying the scenery, and Ed followed along, not really paying attention. He would rather be reading at the moment. He sighed and closed his eyes for a bit as he kept walking.

His eyes snapped open as he felt something being pressed over his nose and mouth. He saw a covered hand pressing a cloth over his nose and mouth. He made a move to grab the wrist, when his mind started getting a little fuzzy. His grip loosened as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed.

Winry had the feeling something was wrong, so she looked behind her. She stopped and turned around when she saw that her friend was missing. She sighed.

"Where did he go now?" She went back the way she came, and looked around where she could, but she could not find the Fullmetal Alchemist. His eyes widened in worry. "How could he have gone missing?" She went to a phone booth, and called Al. Alphonse's slightly echoey voice could be heard on the other side.

"Hello? You have reached Alphonse Elric." Winry frowned.

"Al, it's Winry. Ed's gone." There was a pause.

"What do you mean brother's gone?!"

"Exactly what I said! One second he was there, and the next he was gone! I've looked around, but I can't find him anywhere!"

**Meanwhile...**

He felt that he couldn't move his arms. Or arm, that is. He opened his eyes to find he was tied to a chair and his automail limbs were pulled out. Not that that was necessary. He felt like he lost all connection with his nerves from the neck down. A light was shining from above on him, but he couldn't see anything outside of where he was. His mind still felt a little fuzzy from whatever was pressed onto his nose and mouth...

His eyes snapped open, being fully alert. That's right! Some cloaked bastard must have drugged him! Just then, he heard a voice. It wasn't very masculine or feminine, but it was there with a slightly amused tone.

"Ah, so you're awake. How do you feel." Ed growled a bit.

"Like shit. I can't even move." The voice chuckled.

"Well, that's to be expected. But don't worry, you won't get hurt at all. You will be able to move in an hour at most."

"When that time comes, I'll get out of here and kick your ass!"

"Oh sure~ You say that now. But in an hour, will you really want to?" He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean? Of course I will!" The voice laughed.

"Think what you want now, but for the next hour or so, I'm going to show you some things." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Fine, show me." The same covered arm came into the lit area holding a glass ball inches away from his face. "That's a bit too close." The orb then started to fill up with some sort of smoke. At first it was grey, but then it turned blue.

Then red.

Then green.

Then gold.

The voice was heard again. "Do you like it? Isn't it pretty?" The colours began to change faster and the smoke was swirling around in the orb. Ed started feeling fuzzy again, maybe the drug just went away for a bit and how it was back. Yeah... that was right... it has to be that...

"I guess it kind of is..." Wait... what was he going to do again? He couldn't think straight, so he just gave up and kept looking at the pretty little object.

His eyes slowly lost their shine and he gently smiled. The voice gave another chuckle.

"What do you think of it, Edward?" He didn't even think to respond.

"It's really pretty..."

"It really is. Now Edward, there are some little things I want you to do..."

**End of Flashback**

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><p><strong>Well, this chapter was longer than the others. And now, we know exactly what the fuck happened to Ed. I'm sorry if there's some OOCness, and if you don't review, Luna might have to go on a hiatus. I'm serious about that chair, though. I want it back.<strong>


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